How did this happen?

I know it's my fault. I know I fucked up...somehow, someway, MY decisions have led me to this place. The place of misery. Because it MUST be. I am miserable. I have managed to find myself in a spot that is so ugly I can barely stand to remain here. But I really hve no choice, no matter what I tell myself, no matter what anyone else has to say. Nothing matters. The facts are what they are. I managed to allow someone to press up on me, so to speak. The facvt is I was moved in on. And, as much as I want to blame another person for my ugly predicament, I have no one other than me to blame. I allowed it to haopopen, and now I am stuck with my own decision. I just need to find a way out of this and I need to remember EXACTLY the feelings I am having RIGHT NOW. To Briana Marie Williams: you fucked up good. You not only ruined YOUR OWN LIFE, but you ruined another's too. You ruined MY life - the life I expected to be living, with you. Again, how can I look at anyone other than MYSELF as the root cause of this. While you made this fucked up decision, I made a MORE fucked up decision - by picking you. And, I thought I knew what I was getting into. Thats what anyone else would say. Thats what I would say. Thats what I DO say - to me. Nevertheless, Bri, you fucked me good and I sincerely hope you feel the gravity of what you did to us after eight years of being together. You blew away....and you are nothing but dust now. To Nichole Silva - you fucked up. You pushed up, and pushed on. You pushed and pushed and pushed and contributed little or nothing toward my efforts to be happy with you. How about just be happy, period. You worked against my efforts at every step of the process of life. Now, I am ready to bailon you at any moment. You have to live with that threat. I would have done anything for you. I would have jumped in front of a bullet for you. I did. And you repay by asking for more, no, DEMANDING more. And it just goes on and on and on. And on. It amazes me just how ungrateful you are! I have never been so offended by my goodwill. By my own sacrifice. To help YOU? What was I thinking? You may be in the top three worst mistakes I have ever made. But, time will tell. In any event, this experience has hurt me. It hasn't wisened me. In fact, I am looking to run as we speak - I am shopping AIRLINE TICKETS BACK HOME. But, THAT is another story altogether....