like so so many times before ...

it seems like I've said there's so many times before, but...

"So it was so it is so it shall be again "...

/he problem is I go through this way too often. here I am alone and not necessarily unhappy, rather ... unsettled. disturbed. unfeeling. alone...

and, once again it's due to a woman. this time one that lasted just over the seven year mark. which is impressive. but not so much so that I'd be willing to take her back at this/ point. she cost me so much money so much opportunity so much time and I know why it's because she didn't have any of that. despite the fact I tried to offer it to her -I tried to lead that horse to water and I should have taken the advice I've given so many times over. you can lead her some water but the only way to make her drink is to drown her, and chances are I'll drown right next to her doing it  

fuck me for caring. it's impossible to care and survive.