Memory is a bitch

 Memories are a bitch.  They come and go.  SOme linger far longer than they should, while others are far too fleeting.  I have several of these, of both kinds, and some others as well.  They invariably start with the women....

Katherine - without a doubt, the longest lingering memory in my file cabinet.  While this one HAS deteriorated over time, the fact is that it remains with enough integrity to bring me to my knees, to this very day, over 10 years (!) later.  But, she is not the focus of my post.  This time it's the two most recent memories - those of Briana and Sarah...

First, Briana - she was with me for over seven years.  I honestly thought we would spend the rest of our lives together.  But, in my memory, things began breaking down when we moved to Vermont.  This move was FROM H'wood, Ca, and that place I loved.  Even with the roaches, bums, drunks, heroin junkies, drug dealers and gangsters (many of whom were friends to me).  Things were good there, and in fact there were some really GREAT moments - sex on LSD was one of them.  Bri and I dropped tabs from Shmoo and had sex.  It was the most amazing sex I had ever had, with anyone.  It beat my experiences with ash, and that's a tall order.  The more I think about her, I become sad, and want her to come back, despite my gut instincts telling me that will never happen.  Then, I think about what ACTUALLY happened.  This cold ass bitch had plans to do this to me all along.  She hated me.  Maybe I was just the focal point for her own pent up, in the closet homosexuality.  Nevertheless, I was the victim, and not SO willingly.  I saw it coming years before she acted.  She didn't know.  She had no clue I caught her and that little cunt Autumn in bed, asleep, together, naked.  Needless to say that by this time, it was far too late to recover.  It was broken.  We had broken each other somehow.   (more...Later)

-Cya Cowboy