Dear Sarah
IDC IF YOU READ THIS OR NOT. It will be published on several of my blogs, as the opener on your PERSONAL site which I have control of, and onto facebook, among other outlets. It is honest, factual, and expository of you and your behavior. Like you said - I'm sorry.
What the fuck happened to you? Is this how you treat a 'friend' or family member? It appears I am NEITHER. Wow, Sarah. You blocked me? Altogether, despite KNOWING FOR A FACT that it would be impossible? Who convinced you to do this? A better question is WHY did you? I did nothing but try to help you! I extended myself in every way I knew how and offered everything I had. I went as far as to offer the last surviving sliver of heart I had left, which should explain what you are about to read and why I have gone so cold.
It is one thing to reject someone. Rejection is something I am accustomed to - for fuck's sake, I am a professional. It is another thing entirely to drag them through the mud, accepting all they have to give and simultaneously intending on discarding them entirely when you are through. I do believe you are a vampire - an emotional vampire. You have taken liberties I am certain other significant players in your drama are unaware of, your loser failure of a man being the primary and most significant one.
Understand that as a result of your treatment of me, I no longer consider you a person. You no longer deserve a name, either, and the mention of what was once yours will never be used by me in reference to you ever again. You have become 'that chick' or 'some bitch' - while this is likely unimportant to you, it is very significant. This new lack of reference erases you from existence in this world...in MY world. You're gone, as if you never existed. In fact, this is the last thing you will ever read, hear, see, or feel from me. Your complete and utterly self-absorbed lack of consideration (for me, specifically, but for everyone and everything in general) has resulted in this: your erasure. I can't think of many other more verbose ways to express your absence in my head, my heart, and my perception. You are less than worthless - which is not to say you are a debt. You are simply non-existent from this point onward. The worst thing I can possibly do to you is simple indifference - simply don't care. And I don't care about you anymore, and won't ever again.
Why, then, you might ask, am I addressing you? It is a mea culpa so to speak, if you even know what that is (and it is more than likely you do not - I have no intention of explaining it, either). MY mea culpa to my own better judgement, merciful heart, and good sense. You are stupid, which is to say you are evil, and therefore do not deserve a place in my breadth of consciousness or existence.
I just made you up to hurt myself, and it worked.
You have jaded me further than I thought possible, and in doing so erased yourself. I tried to save you - I tried to give you an opportunity (several, in fact) to save yourself. You took NONE of them, opting rather to occupy whatever lackluster subsistence with another failed attempt at humanity, that so-called partner of yours - the one who offers nothing but consumption of others' things; things like energy, effort, time, money and much more - the same guy who, after explicitly told not to, brought a gun and threatened your family with it; the same guy who caused you to wreck your car; the same guy who met you in a gangbang?? THere is only one possible explanation - you are stupid. Therefore, you are evil. It's insulting, frankly, TO ME! How foolish was I to fall for you?
You are in a place where you will NEVER realize any sort of actual, real success at anything you endeavor to accomplish. You think you will own a company someday - that is a joke. You will be a prostitute for the rest of your pathetic existence, at least for as long as you are able to sell your physicality. At 45, you don't have much time left. And with that above-mentioned failure, where do you think you will land? In the lap of luxurious existence? I am afraid not. You will be an ad hoc adjunct to a failure! lol. You don't even have a clue what that means, despite the ultimate insult it represents.
And your partner? The excuse of a person who pulled a gun out on YOUR OWN FAMILY! Who resides in a bedroom at your parents house (and on someone's couch if not there?!? LOL!) due to his lack of ability to earn a living that has even a remote chance of supporting himself, let alone both of you. Instead, he tolerates, likely even encourages (aka PIMPS) you to sell your ass to the lowest bidder for less than any of your peers. You were once exceptional, gorgeous, irresistibly beautiful, inside and out. That was a façade. Now, you are merely a dumpster for men to relieve themselves into. And your partner approves. The same guy who GANGBANGED you? My god what the fuck isa wrong with this picture, and considering you have utterly failed to recognize that there is, in fact, something wrong with it, merely demonstrates your underdeveloped, or retarded development of your moral and social system. You are a fucking whore, not even a hooker, or a prostitute, both of whom hold title OVER you and your partner. He is merely a worm spurning you to scratch the spot he's attached his parasitic self to your body to feed.
You disgust me. And I am ashamed to have had any sort of feelings for you. That was MY failure, and believe me, I will not make the same mistake twice. It will never happen again, and that hurts like A BITCH to say. This whole letter did. But, the Truth hurts. At least , that's the conventional wisdom.
SO, with that I wish you both the best of luck in your limited, meager, low measure of life. You are now both free to live out your miserable span of existence - as one of my satellites. THAT is how it is and will be. You will cease to exist when I decide, and I decide that moment is RIGHT NOW.
PS - I still own your namesake, http://SarahMarieGifts.x and http://SarahMarieGifts.
Comments
Post a Comment