Gremlins, Sirens, and Things That Are Dangerous - The Wild Frontier

Gremlins.  Little, malevolent, wicked imps that make a life of ruining your day(s).  I have them.  They've plagued me my entire life, but their efforts have magnified the older I grow.  I mention this because in the last several weeks, I have noticed their mischief more and more.  Every day, the aggravation of placing a trivial but important item down in a spot, and distinctly knowing WHERE I put the item, then coming back to find it totally missing five minutes later has happened at least twice in the last 24 hours.  More so if you examine the last week or three.  The items, while they are important, aren't THAT important - petty cash, small amounts of chemicals, and certain other more valuable items, are all replaceable.  They are not life-and-death items, like an asthma inhaler, or family heirlooms, like my Cartier watch.  But, the aggravation that comes from losing the item is overwhelming and therein lies the true evil nature of the gremlin.  The aggravation and anger stemming from the disappearance is stressful, and it ages me.  Sometimes, the item that goes missing can be dangerous - VERY dangerous to those around me, like my dog Rams.  They can often be quite dangerous to the idiot who stole it - eg, the gremlin.  In any event, all I can say is I hope you choke on it, whomever or whatever you are.  If it keeps happening, I am calling the Ghostbusters...

Sirens.  Beautiful women abound in this place.  There are a lot of them.  More than any other place I have ever resided.  All things considered, it's easy to meet one here.  In fact, since my last episode, I have met no less than three (3) - and of them, one clearly stood out.  I near-instantly fell in love with her.  Moreover, while she stayed for a week, and we did exhibit affections for each other, it didn't reach a fever pitch.  Nevertheless, it was just enough to tip me to one side.  And, as the siren's song goes, I began listing.  And as I did, the siren swam out of reach...I even predicted this would happen the day I met her.  I knew she would.  How?  She was my typical pick - exceptionally beautiful, smart, brilliant, even, and possibly devoid of feeling.  Crazy.  And not crazy as a fox.  Just plain crazy.  That's what I liked most about her.  As the fever pitch was building, and I began falling, she informs me that she intended on splitting to some Podunk town north of me - too far to see me for a month.  Yeah, right.  I knew this would happen.  That's what girls like this do.  And, while I have two others in the wings, it doesn't change the fact I wanted THIS one...I wanted her.  Well, at least I called it. My heart - whatever is left, I don't necessarily think it qualifies as an actual heart - was shattered anyhow.  So, no harm done...?

Which brings me to things that are dangerous. Both of the above things are dangerous.  And they are merely TWO of the dangerous things in the world.  They happen to be opposite ends of the spectrum.  One is a trivial nuisance that creates long term harm, and the other is a serious foe that feigns as a friend, even a lover.  Those are still just TWO of the hundreds of millions of ways to die this beautiful shithole of a place offers.  So many more ways to die...and so little time.  

In the wild frontier, you better watch your back, because in the wild frontier there are maniacs.