How long can this really go on??

I have to be honest with myself. I have once again flown into a rage at the poking and provocation levelled at me from my so-called 'partner'. This woman just doesn't seem to get it no matter how many times I tell her; no matter how many times I repeat myself; no matter what I say. It just wont sink in, and for the life of me I cant seem to figure out why. Maybe I am expecting too much. I am. This chick, Nichole Silva, is beyond my personal abililty to comprehend. She is so intelligent, yet so idiotic, I can't seem to make sense of it. Or her. And the fact is that while it piqued my interest and represented something of a challenge, this back and forth, the lack of maturity, the absolute ignorance and the total lack of respect, the opposite of respect, in fact, and her ignorance of my demands has finally registered. She's a slob. She's wicked and thrives on competing with me, rather than trying to make the two of us grow. And, no matter how much I try to show her, regardless of how I try to guide her in a better direction, she refuses to do anything the easy way, opting rather to waste and waste and waste. She is the opposite of economy. She has become intolerable. And whether I love her or not, she is preventing me from ever helping her in any way. She consistently disrespects me, ignores my wishes, and flouts my favors, opting to disrupt, misuse, and pervert any sort of help I extend. She is a fucking DRUG ADDICT, who refuses to admit her own shortcomings, and fails to realize why she has two ears and only one mouth. Even then, I am fairly certain it would not help her in any meaningful way. I am coming to the conclusion that I can't do anything to make her even remotely worth my time, which I have wasted so much of on her, not to mention money. Really, in the end, it is MY OWN fault. I should never have trusted her. Never have listened to her. I should never have followed her advice, given her the benefit of any doubts (all of which were not only valid, but proved true, ultimately and unfortunately, for us both, me especially), or any other grace I afforde=ed her. The fact is I wanted to fuck that night, and instead I got fucked. In so many ways, I could never have expected the outcome, or landing where I am now. I have lost nearly everything I had worth having, and not for any of her contribition. No doubt, the choices I made and the decisions I committed to were largely responsible to my own downfall - she merely accelerated a fast moving, downward going crashed rocket that never knew he wouldn't make orbit like he intended.' This may be my greatest loss of all time, and right about now, I am seriously wondering whether I will be able to recover from it. This one hurt more than any other previous 'Choose Your Own Adventure' - this adventure may really be the end of me as I know myself. Signing off....